the school shooting

i had just dropped off my son at school. as i was driving home i turned on the radio and there was a breaking news story. in one of our local high schools a student had been shot. this particular high school, central high school, is located in the north part of knoxville. just after bill gentry hired me in october of 2006, he asked me to drive a special trip for him. it was taking his daughter and one of her classes to atlanta. since then, i have driven many trips for this school, so this event has some special interest to me.
at appx 8:11 this morning, a person shot a 16 year old student in the cafeteria. about 2 hours later, it was announced that ryan mcdonald, a freshman at central high school had died. the response of law enforcement was rapid. the 911 call came in at 8:11am, police arrived at the school 2 minutes later and at 8:17 a subject was in custody arrested several blocks away.
as i was keeping up with this story, i wondered if either of these students had been on one of my buses? had i met them? sometimes my children have been on trips with me . have my children ever seen them? i was processing this from my own perspective and it had become a selfish thought process.
every morning when i take a shower, i pray. it is one of those few times during the day where i am able to be in the quiet and i can pray and meditate. as i was praying, God clearly showed me this was not about me. this morning 2 kids left their homes. 1 will not be going back and chances are the other one will never be going home either. 2 sets of parents are hurting and grieving. both have lost a son. probably a sibling has lost a brother. either way you look at it, this is a horrible tragedy.
i have always heard the worst loss a person can have is the death of a child. i pray i will never know this pain. i was able to witness this 8 years ago when my older brother died. my parents grieved and it hurt me so badly to see my parents hurt like this and there was little i could do. i can't relate to this and not many parents can. 2 years later my father died and i can almost say with certainty that he grieved himself to death. he was never the same. my mother is still alive but she too, is not the same.
this story is one that so very wrong and tragic. it is so true and i wish it weren't. i don't know what to do other than pray and hold my children a little tighter and tell them i love them one more time. we can't keep our children from living life and we can't shield them from it either. but i often think about keeping them home and never leaving.
i have 4 wonderful children and i love them equally with all my heart. i recognize the equal love but as with most families we have different relationships with our children as the all have differing personalities. i wish they were all here so i could squeeze them and tell them i love them. i remember a commercial many years ago that featured paul"bear" bryant. he was plugging coke and it was mothers day weekend. his line was "don't forget to call your mom. i sure wish i could call mine" (his had passed away).
sometimes we have disagreements with our family and we don't tell them we love them nearly enough especially when we have been arguing and and one leaves to go somewhere.
what happened this morning and the details of their morning we may never know. where "i love yous" exchanged as these parents say their kids off to school?
i don't know and probably never will. what i do know is i will never allow a loved one to leave my presence without telling them i love them. it may be the last chance i get.
don't forget to tell your loved ones you love them. 2 parents may never get that chance again.
until next time...