Hard to believe it has been 2 1/2 years since I last posted. In no way will I attempt that much time and effort. Perhaps bits and pieces as we go along. A few things to note as they will play a big part in future postings. In September 2011, I finally had my knee replaced. It has been a struggle and I am still adjusting. For most of you, when you get cold, you take it for granted that your body will warm up. when you have that much titanium you understand the old "chilled to bone" phrase the older folks talk about. when my knee gets really cold, it hurts like hell and takes a while to warm up to internal body temperature. it most certainly doesn't feel like arthritis pain. During the 2 1/2 years I have been off work, i was afforded the opportunity to think what I was going to do once the insurance company settled with me. As I was already selling on eBay (www.stores.ebay.com/terryhawks, it became obvious that I could be an excellent seller. I have always loved the chase and the rush when you are able to sell something. It fascinates me on why people buy something. It is also amazing to see what people will buy and how much they are willing to pay. I really believe an eskimo will buy ice as long as they are market. As I mentioned, I love the chase. To purchase some items, research pricing, take photos, list it, sell it and then complete the transaction which means get paid. Pack it, print address labels and put it in my mailbox and you have come full circle, start to finish a transaction. I have been humbled along the way and I have become quite efficient. Duplicate the above and when you wake up one morning you will realize you are self employed. I have shipped to most states in the US and over 25 different countries. It still boggles my mind that I can compose an email, click send, and within a few seconds, my email is in someone's inbox in China. Business has been very good and I am adding some new products in a month or so. I am a business owner with access to something like 100,000,000 registered buyers wordwide. Like I say, it is a rush. I made a trip back to Jackson the day after Christmas and spent almost a week with my mom. It breaks my heart to see her struggle just to survive. She is in so much pain when she walks. The tv volume has to be kept up to about 80% volume and I think sometimes my ears bleed. Nevertheless, every second is special. When she is watching tv, she takes the opportunity to also try having conversation with whoever is in the room. It requires me speak louder and when I do, she gets upset at me for "yelling" at her! I know it's not just me with an aging parent. it's 0245 and time to start getting ready to go to bed. Thanks for coming back to read this. I am truly honored blessed. until next time...

my friday the 13th

today has been a day that can only be described as friday the 13th. really weird.
today, i had 2 stops to make in the johnson city area and take them to paris landing state park. no big deal, just a long day.
as i have aged, at times, i get very emotional. their is a song by michael english called "the prodigal son". i have grown very attached to this song and today i listened to it over and over for almost 2 hours. there is a story here i will not dive into, but when i hear it, how i long for one more moment with my dad. so much i want to tell him, about how right he was and how dumb i was for thinking i new better on everything.
anyway, later into my trip, the john denver song, "poems, prayers and promises" played and lots more emotions came back. i can't cry and drive. it's not professional!!!
i always prayed to God to just let me live long enough to see my children accept christ and be baptized. that was all i needed then he could bring me home. well, they have, and i am still here. driving up I24 into clarksville, i decide to call my mom. i am in paris, tn. and my nephew lives here. he only met my brother, his father, one time and that was by accident. i always felt like he got the short end of the deal never knowing his father. dirty laundry will not get cleaned here.
anyway, my mom has his phone numbers and i really had a strong leading to visit him while i was here. my mom did not answer so i left a message on her answering machine something like this,"mom, sorry to bother you. i am on my way to paris and i need jonathan's phone numbers. i want to call him and try to visit. love you mom". simple enough, right. well, not too long after that, i lost cell phone coverage. as i am driving along, listening to john denver, i could not help but praise God for the wonderful life he has blessed me with. 4 wonderful children. loved and been loved by some good women (and bad). finally found a job i love. where i live, gotta give him credit for that. it is awesome. my health is good, i have some wonderful friends. seen some things along the way that both touched me and humbled me. today, most everywhere i looked, i could see the hand of God. oh, and i am happier right now than i ever have been in my life. if it all ended now, i would be so selfish to complain. hold all these thoughts.
i get to the hotel, drop my passengers off, and go to my hotel. i am staying in another hotel about 15 miles away. i still have no phone service.
anyway, i get checked into my hotel, and when i get my laptop out, plug in my laptop, and call my youngest 2. no answer so i call their mom. she does not recognize the number calling but answers anyway. i said "hey, just checking on isaac and grace and make sure they have this number". she starts asking me about the tree, how bad was i hurt, was everybody else ok, where i was, and on and on!! of course my reponse was, huh?
my mom, bless her heart, is 84 and lives alone. when she listened to the message, she "heard" me say, "i have hit a tree, i am hurt, everybody else is ok" and that is all she heard.
well, she starts calling me back, doesn't get me for about 2-3 hours. she calls the neighbors. they all come over. they know i am pinned in the bus, after hitting a tree, and i am calling to tell my mom bye. they all start calling. she calls my ex's house, leaves 2 frantic messages (which the kids hear and freak out cause dad is probably dead). they both call my office, the owner answers, and hears frantic calls from 2 different women. he gets online, tracks my bus by gps, and it is sitting still with the engine running. he calls my cell, no answer. he activates the drive cam, and he can tell i am where i am supposed to be, but not on the bus. weirdly, i am sitting with a big tree in front of my bus. he calls the park rangers, police, and has an apb put out on me!!! so, now not only am i dead, or dying, but i am wanted by the police. in the meantime, while all of this is going on, i am driving, listening to "poems, prayers, and promises". kinda creepy, huh?
no, this is not a spoof. it really happened. i have the witnesses to support all of this.
until next time...

kicking myself all night

today i had the pleasure of picking up the university of memphis football team at the airport. kinda ironic based on my last post about "you can't make this stuff up" because when we do sports team pickups, we drive thru secure gates right on the tarmac right under the plane!!!
anyway, when we got there, we pulled up beside a navy trainer (a T4?) and i wanted to take some pics. my camera is always in my backpack but i have been taking a lot of pics at home posting most on facebook. it was not there. so, i used my phone. i don't care how good the phone, phone pics suck, at best. shot several pics, kicked myself in the butt.
we had a police escort to their hotel. police escorts are very cool. you don't slow down, they are usually high speed, and exciting to say the least. a pic would have been nice. kicked self in butt, again.
after the hotel, we got another escort to neyland stadium. not only TO neyland stadium, we parked UNDER neyland stadium. very cool. kicked myself again. once unloaded, we reset our buses (sorry, there were 3 of us). soon, i realized not only were we under the stadium, we were at field level. a 50 yard walk and i was standing in the south end zone!!! very cool. kicked myself again. walked around the field, looking UP at the seats. very cool. kicked myself again. they finished their workout and another police escort back to their hotel. during these escorts, we don't stop. traffic is stopped for us at all intersections. i have been in dozens of them and it never gets old. i just wish i had my camera. and, my butt hurts.
after some down time, we ate and drove them to a movie. while sitting there waiting i pulled out my laptop. when i opened my computer bag, guess what i found?
i am still kicking myself. hard!!!
until next time... yes, i put my camera back in my backpack where it should have been to begin with!!!

another episode of "you can't make this stuff up"

yesterday i took a group on a tour of some installations in oak ridge. hold that thought for a moment.
when i got back to my office yesterday after a local trip, my boss told me he was pulling me off of a trip he had me set up to do.
it was a simple trip-a local high school track team going to nashville for a meet, an overnight (i was looking forward to because it meant i might spend time with my daughter) and then back home saturday. simple enough. i have made dozens of them.
when he told me, i asked why. he told me i was no longer qualified. thinking a pink slip was coming, i asked why. he told me that the knox county school system now requires all bus drivers be fingerprinted, a background check (another) a new photo id and a drug test (another). i had to laugh.
we, as a company and me personally, are approved department of defense contractors. i have had the high honor and privilege of transporting troops all over from fort polk, la to quantico va. i have been on many military bases and in some restricted areas. as i said, i am qualified. the group i drove to oak ridge, went to y-12, ornl and several other very sensitive areas. if you cross the wrong line, their orders are literally "shoot to kill". i even drove up to the building where our nations supply of uranium is stored. when we got there, i had to surrender my camera, my cellphone and my pepper spray. and yes, another background check. i don't know if when a background check is done, all other inquiries show up like a credit report. if it did, it had to have been several pages long. of course, i passed.
it hit me when greg said i was no longer qualified how ironic it was that i can go on military installations, see where the u.s. government stores its uranium, but i am not "qualified" to drive a high school track team.
like i said, you can't make this stuff up!!!
until next time...

yes, i am back

what an incredible summer it has been. i have found myself in a dilemna. being off for 10 months gave me a lot of time to post regularly. after coming back to work in april, i have been on the run quite a lot.
baseball is over and i am having withdrawals. the smokies made it to the southern league championships and we lost to jacksonville. being 2nd was hard to swallow but was, nevertheless, an amazing accomplishment. getting to know a new group of players was fun and seeing them develop as they did was impressive. at the same time, seeing the guys i have driven in years past playing for the cubs, well, it was easy to swell up with pride. some went on to other teams in the majors, but those in the cubs organization was especially fulfilling.
meeting ryne sandberg was an amazing experience for me. driving him was more than any kid could dream for. but i can't forget the other staff members who are coaching with him, well, i have a special memory of them as well.
most of all, it is the people i get to meet in the ballparks. normal, everyday people from blue collar workers to white collar executives, all brought together by the love of a game. returning to the parks and seeing them, shaking hands, hugging most is a time in my life i cherish. several i have the pleasure of keeping in contact with. my life is a very fulfilled one.
this season, we ended up driving about 20,000 miles. most trips were 6 day trips with weird hours and some wild times. even getting to know the people in the host hotels and then going back to catch up with them was a wonderful experience. i can tell you more about getting around in jacksonville or mobile or several other cities than i can getting around knoxville.
when i was getting back into the swing of coming back to work, i got addicted to facebook and have spent most of my life writing there. i love to write and it filled a gap, but being here fills a huge void. most of my life for the past several years is on here and it is time to get back to regular posting here.
i have other things to post so i am not going to dump it all here. i don't know if i will be driving the smokies next year. our contract is up and i don't know if we will get it or not. i hope i do get one more year. rumor has it sandberg is coming back and i would be a fool not to step back into the dream. ryne and his wife margaret are wonderful people and i would be honored to be their driver one more time.
until next time...

bernard

my life is an incredibly blessed one. i am without a doubt the most blessed man who has ever walked the face of God's green earth. part of this is the people i have met.

in all of the ballparks i go to, i know a lot of people from security to the "clubbies", ticket takers to fans, local law enforcement to the people who-do-i-don't-know-what-but-they-get-paid-anyway.

i have known bernard for 3 years and he never ceases to amaze me. every year when i see him, we shake hands, give bear hugs, and seem genuinely glad to see each other. lately, his bear hugs have gotten less "bearish".

before every game, he sits at his post and checks the other workers in and a host of other things. and he is always smiling. today when i dropped the players off, i saw him struggling to walk with his cane, partially paralyzed on one side. i couldn't help but choke up.

during the game, his duties were over and it was time for him to go home. i stopped him for a chat and to ask how he was doing. he told me he was good and i told him i thought he looked good. he said, smiling, "i am. i have a few problems but i am happy". last time we talked, he told me he had 1/2 of one of his feet removed, but he was happy. tonight, i asked him how his foot was doing. we talked for a few more minutes and he shared so much. his father was a common laborer for some large company and died of mesothelioma. he told me he needs more surgery. i asked, "what this time?" half kiddingly. he told me his doctor needs to replace both knees, both hips, and he also is having some neurological issues that are worsening. he told me he was a boxer growing up and his doctors think that is where it came from. "but i am happy". here is a man, i guess in his mid 60's, needing all of these surgeries as well as suffering neurologically, all the surgeries he has had, and he is genuinely happy! i really wanted to hug him and tell him i love him and i am blessed to know him.

i thought back to something bear grylls (man vs wild) said and i have to think about my own life. bear said, and i quote:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, covered in scars, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'yahoo!', what a ride.'

until next time...

you just can't make this stuff up

i admit it, i am a voyeur. now, before you go down than path, i only mean i am a "people watcher". the more i observe, the more people become like those animals at the zoo. probably don't know someone is watching. equally, most don't care.

i have another one of those moments that i have got to pass along. i wrote about my experience in jacksonville with the security guard telling me that bus parking does not mean bus parking even though the sign say "bus parking only".

here is another one for your amusement and comes from the renassaince in mobile.

this hotel had spent tens of millions of dollars renovating this property. one thing they did was move the main entry from the water street side to the rear. at the rear is a large canopy for guests to check in and out.
i had been loading/unloading the players under the canopy which is about 3-4 car lanes wide. when i am doing a movement with the players, it is a pull up and get off or a park and scramble so i am there about 10-15 minutes.

about the 3rd day, i pull under the canopy and the players are coming on to the bus. one of the "valets" comes up to the bus with a message.
"Valet Manager says you can't come in here anymore". i asked "why"? i was told that he said it blocked traffic and they did not want me there. i said, "you know i am here for only a few minutes" to which she replied, "people only come in here for a few minutes and then leave, Valet Manager's orders". i looked over at a mercedes that had been parked under the canopy everytime i was there. i said, "how come i have to move but he parks here all the time"? she told me it was the Valet Managers!!! i told her i should be able to be allowed to stop here for 10 minutes twice a day. we have about 20 rooms here for 5 nights" to which she replies, again, "Valet Manager's" orders. By now i am fuming. I told her this was not fair and i demanded to see him.
her reply? "well, he is in a customer service meeting and told us not to bother him".

like i said, you can't make this up!!!

until next time...