Jacksonville

well, this is my last night in jacksonville. i am traveling with a professional baseball team and it has been a great trip. yesterday as i watched my team win, i was blindsided when one of the players asked me if i would take them to church (easter sunday). of course my answer was yes but only if i could go. we got up and hit the road about 0930 for a 1030 service. it was an amazing church (first baptist church-jacksonville). i have been in smaller coliseums!!! dr. mac brunson delivered a wonderful message but it just did not have the feel of my home church. there were four of us going to church and i was feeling some things that i was ambivalent about. let me explain. i have driven lots of commercial-type vehicles and it was only a boring job. one sunday morning as i was sitting in my old church parking lot, i saw our church bus and knew it was not being used on a regular basis. i thought, could i use this bus to further god's kingdom? the answer was a "fuzzy" yes. as some time went by, i met a man who was a retired methodist minister who was driving part-time for a local, well respected company. we struck up a friendship and talked about buses and some more of the puzzle started to fit. i had driven some private coaches and i thought i had a pretty good feel for what it would be like. i knew god was pointing me in a direction of buses and some type of ministry. how the two are connected, i still am not sure. now, back to this morning. has god put me here to be someone who finally starts a "bus ministry" or is it much more than that? am i here at this time and place by accident or did god put me here to be some sort of guide for these guys? i know all the things to say about my relationship with christ and how it keeps me grounded and how i can not imagine living a life without him but can i say it to them? will my life experiences be able to help them see that no matter how many millions of dollars they could make will ever matter until they find a god who loves them unconditionally and in no way dependent on how well they play, their bank accounts, or what they spend their money on? how do i tell them their lives will be okay if they never make it to the big leagues? as you can tell i have become very attached to these guys and i truly care about them. i only have this opportunity 'til the end of summer. am i living my life in a way that will show them the christ in me or will they see someone who still slips and falls just like the will slip and fall? is there any chance i can show them a better way? i must admit that right now as i write this, i am scared at all that could be at stake here. also, am i just here to plant seeds? i can't make them accept christ and i can't make them believe in something more than they are. there are times i wonder what people see in me let alone who. all i can do at this point is hope, trust and believe god's plan for me.