"michael jackson is dead and i don't feel so good myself"

like most of the world, i watched the "play by play" unfold of michael jackson's death today on fox news.

i have had my own thoughts and feelings about the self professed "king of pop" and was leaning in the direction of him being about as innocent as o.j.

i was listening to greta van susteren and shepard smith as they danced around the issue of telling the world that he was dead but needed more credible information. they were talking about his life and the more they showed of his life, it started to look more like a freak parade. over the span of his life, incidents involving him would come and go and over time, we forget a lot of things. seeing his life in a 15 minute capsule make me really see this was one weird, strange guy. as in the movie "trading places", was he a product of heredity or environment? he was 5'11" tall and weighed 120lbs. he had no childhood. he became famous practically as a toddler and was in the limelight and he was quoted as saying he never felt loved.

my personal thoughts aside, one statement came out that really hit me hard. one of the countless people who "knew him well" was with him at some show in australia. as usual, he had kids all around him and this person asked him about the kids and made the comment to him about what people said about him and children and why they were always around him. this guy said he remembered michael jackson looking him squarely in the eyes and said, "because they are the only ones who tell me the truth".

you can't argue the fact that he was extremely talented. he was perhaps the greatest showman we will see in our lifetime. he sold something like 750 million albums and is not only in the rock and roll hall of fame, he is in there twice. it was said he was close to being, if not, a billionaire (his debts were almost that much as well).
but, what we remember more than anything else, his personal life was like the proverbial "bus full of nuns rolling off a cliff". a horrible tragedy.

"Because they are they only ones who tell me the truth" was perhaps the saddest statement i have ever heard in my life. of all the people he had around him, whom he called friends, his family, etc, people used him for their own gain and told him what they thought he wanted to hear at the time, well, you get the picture. but as usual, i found a life lesson there. i wonder, if people look at me or think about me and my relationship with them, could they think the same of me? how many people in my life could i say the same about?

i know a lot of people. i have met a lot of people in my lifetime, probably tens of thousands over my 52 years. is there anybody out there that i have a solid enough relationship with that could say i am the only one who would tell them the truth? unfortunately there is not. equally sad is i can't say the same about anyone else.

tomorrow is a new day and i now have this thought to carry forward with me. it is something i now see i must work on and it will be painful at times but the end result will be worth it.

rest in peace michael. God knows you did not find it here.

until next time...

fathers day

i loved my dad. he was one of the most moral, character filled men i have ever known. growing up, we did not have much but we had what we needed. he never knew a stranger and people who knew him loved him. he was quick to bust my butt (always when i needed it) and he would use reason if you asked why. he was funny, witty, and could talk to anybody no matter their place in life, their skin color or anything else. when he looked at people, that is what he saw-people. he taught me how to play poker and he taught me how to fish. he took me hunting and he took me for target practice. he came to my sporting games and i really can't ever remember him "not being there" his advise was dead on but only gave it when asked.

he loved my mom and she loved him. he served in WWII and was proud he did. he was never too busy if i needed help with something and when i needed advice, he was right 100 out of 100 times.

he worked hard for the telephone company all his life. never thought about changing jobs. he might have made better money somewhere else but he would not take a risk because he did everything for the benefit of his family.

very few times i saw him scared. i did see him hurt when wronged and i saw him cry. i remember the day before he died. i was in knoxville and they lived about 300 miles away. my mom called me while i was at work. she was crying and so scared. my dad was everything to her and the mighty oak was being chopped down.
it was just her and i in the room when he died and i had to make the decision for him to be taken off the respirator. i knew it was what he would have wanted. he also knew it would hurt us badly. and it did. when i go back to see my mom, i go to the cemetery to visit and talk to him. it might look odd for me to go there in a 45' motorcoach but i would not miss the opportunity for anything.

as i try to be an influence and guide in my children's lives, i often wonder what dad would have done. did i do it right?

as i look back, i never told him how much i respected him. i never thought about thanking him for all he did for my mom, my brother and myself. i never told him i love you as much as i should have. my dad was the neatest guy i have ever known and i miss him more every day and as i age, i need him more every day.

happy fathers day, dad. i love you.

until next time...

5 generations of service

on the road i get to meet some interesting people. some are forgetable, some i can't help but think about almost daily.

while in mobile, i spent 5 nights in the company of "henry". henry is a somewhat quiet guy who goes about his work unassumingly. late 50's, long, gray hair, a few "tats" and doesn't like talking about himself. he is fiercely loyal to his family and his wife of 37 years.

on the 2nd night, he opened up some and told me about his family. he is retired military and spent 24 years in the elite special forces. he told me his family serving in the military spans 5 generations for a total of 145 years!!! as i listened to him open up, he told me he had been wounded (shot) 3 times and had 3 purple hearts. he told me he had been shot in the shoulder requiring pins, screws and pretty much rebuilding his shoulder. he then told me about landing in a "hot LZ" and as soon as he hit the ground, he was shot in the upper inside thigh. he was concerned he had his "boys" blown off but the medic assured "all apparatus" was intact. the next time was in the knee requiring a total knee replacement. after he told me, i said "you qualify for Arlington". he said "yeah", but i want to be close to my family.

what really set me back was when he told me he had them in a storage container in the shed behind his house. i asked "why don't you have them in a display case". his answer was "because nobody cares". "most people don't care what me and many other people have done. i have had very few people outside family i can talk about it with. most people don't want to talk about it because it does not impact their day to day lives". i said, "but it does". he said he knew it did but then he got up to get back to his work.

it upsets me to think about his comments. my previous posts address how i appreciate our military and all they have and continue to do. but for a decorated vet with 3 purple hearts really got to me.

next week we celebrate july 4th. does anybody really know why? is it just another day off to go to the lake, cookout and get drunk? what are we celebrating? if this vet doesn't think anyone cares, why do we celebrate our freedoms if we can't show gratitude to the ones who helped us obtain and keep them?

until next time...